Saying it out loud. Quietly

The fear factor

Tue, 21 May 2013 17:55:02 +0100

Fear.

For years my wife has be trying to find something that scares me. She finds it odd that I’m not scared of anything and has made it her mission to try and prove that I’m actually human.

There is no animal that I will not handle (I’m always the one that removes spiders, bees and bugs from the house), no height I will not jump from (she bought me a parachute jump for my 30th just to check) and pretty much will eat or drink anything (that is veggie friendly of course). Our hag (hen\stag) do was spent at a go ape course crawling over an assault course 100 foot in the air and she had to tell me off for being so happy (some of our friends bottled out when they saw how high it was).

The truth is, there IS something that scares me. Something that scares me SO bad I don’t know how to deal with it sometimes. I keep it inside though, I make sure I can control it and not let it affect any decisions I make.

Fear is what limits us, it holds us back, and prevents us from living every day to the fullest. People say some fear is good, that it keeps us safe, but I believe these people mistake fear for caution. Caution is checking both sides of the road before crossing the street, fear is not crossing the road at all.

Never let fear be in control of your choices, use caution and common sense, but never use fear.

Willow Rosenberg + From geek to badass

Tue, 21 May 2013 09:49:08 +0100

Willow Rosenberg + From geek to badass

Faith Lehane + A whole lot of attitude

Tue, 21 May 2013 09:39:30 +0100

Faith Lehane + A whole lot of attitude

Watching Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason. Purely for Rebecca revealing her love for Bridget and...

Mon, 20 May 2013 23:04:02 +0100

Watching Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason.

Purely for Rebecca revealing her love for Bridget and then kissing her at the end.

I love that it was actually done rather well and not just as a gag.

Jacinda Barrett is far hotter than Colin Firth!

Faith Lehane + Being vunerable

Mon, 20 May 2013 22:13:15 +0100

Faith Lehane + Being vunerable

Quinn Fabray + Being adorable

Mon, 20 May 2013 21:44:58 +0100

Quinn Fabray + Being adorable

Quinn Fabray + Judging people

Mon, 20 May 2013 21:40:33 +0100

Quinn Fabray + Judging people

Santana + Being emotional

Mon, 20 May 2013 21:24:10 +0100

Santana + Being emotional

A lasting legacy

Mon, 20 May 2013 21:16:00 +0100

Ten years ago today, the last episode of Buffy aired.

Ten years, thats is a LONG time (and makes me feel fairly old!) yet Buffy is still on TV.

I see people posting on Tumblr that they are watching it for the first time and I envy them. I wish I could watch it again, as if for the first time, and fall in love with it all over again. Maybe I could get someone to perform a Tabula Rasa spell on me…..

Joss Whedon is always applauded for writing strong women, but that not all he does. He writes complicated, emotional, relatable and most importantly, REAL women.

Buffy - A girl who had the weight of the world on her shoulders, yet no matter how scared still stood up and did the right thing. This girl literally died, TWICE, for what she believes in.

Willow - The evolution of Willow has been one of the most enjoyable experiances of my viewing history. She went from a shy geek who wouldn’t even stand up to a school bully, to a powerful witch who 1-Almost destroyed the world when the love of her life is taken from her & 2-Saved the world by harnessing the power of the slayers.

Faith Lehane - A bad girl done good. Faith showed how important it is to have support in your life. She felt second best, the ‘spare slayer’, the one that wasn’t really needed; all she wanted was to feel loved, so she went to where she felt it. Yet in the end, she did the right thing. Going to prison to atone for the mistakes of her past.

Buffy will always be relevant, and I will always be willing to discuss any episode, with anyone, at length!

Losing the evolutionary plot

Mon, 20 May 2013 08:51:03 +0100

People maintain that humans are superior because evolution gave us opposable thumbs and language.

Somehow I just don’t feel that superior when I spend half the night having to place cold flannels on my son’s body and coax him into taking medicine so that his body stops running at a temperature so high it could induce fits, all because he’s getting another tooth.

The pain he is in would send an adult crazy, day after day of constant and wearing agony. Front teeth are bad, but back teeth are something else. The government should find a way to use it as a torture method, it would be far more effective than water torture I assure you.

Without modern medicine many would not make it through this process, yet animals have to do this without anything to help them. So how are we the superior ones?

The little things

Sun, 19 May 2013 18:09:58 +0100

I love sitting here listening to my wife and son giggling and laughing upstairs as Sam has his bath.

It’s a feeling I can’t really describe; it just makes all the problems and other stuff seem so unimportant.

Listening to them chat (Sam just babbling nonsense) is so cute, I want to record it so that I never forget what is really important. Little things like a cuddle from my son or a kiss from my wife mean more than any amount of money ever could.

I’m a very lucky woman.

Wrecked

Sun, 19 May 2013 00:44:27 +0100

Eurovision!

So camp. So gay.

Shot for every key change. A shot for every use of fireworks. A shot for every other song that didn’t key change, and a shot for every time the country you picked to win scores 12 points.

Strangely Nic got more shots with Azerbaijan who came second than R did with Denmark who won!!

I got no shots with my choice of Finland (there was a lesbian kiss, come on!) But as a light weight I am still kinda hammered.

I love our eurovision parties, and no one even got naked this year!

The Butterfly Effect

Fri, 17 May 2013 23:16:46 +0100

A solemn promise, pledge, or personal commitment: marriage vows.

This is how the dictionary defines the word VOW.

Some people, it seems, don’t understand this defintion. Or choose to ignore it. Some people choose to forget that less than a year ago they stood in front of their family and friends, their closet loved ones, looked into the eyes of the person they were marrying and vowed ‘For better or worse’.

Right now is the worse part of the equation and how did they react? They walked away. They haven’t fought, they haven’t cared, they’ve broken their vow; they’ve moved out, ignored messages from people trying to help, and deleted every single photo of the person they swore to love until the end of their life from Facebook & returned to their maiden name without even bothering to inform their husband.

What happened was terrible, I would never deny that fact. Losing someone you care about in such a sudden and senseless way is cruel; to have it happen when you should be experiancing the happiest time of your life is all kinds of wrong. Yet that doesn’t mean you can just shit all over the one person that loves you more than anything.

You lost someone you care about; and now you’ve done that to your husband. He has lost his wife, the person he vowed to love for the rest of his life. The person he was expecting to raise children with, to grow old with, and to share his life with is gone. And by the looks of things she isn’t coming back.

One event can trigger such an avalanche; the actions of one person causing ripples throughout so many lives. I know their marriage is irrevocably linked to this tragedy, but that doesn’t mean by pretending the marriage didn’t happen it will erase the events that transpired.

Life will always throw storms into our path. The way we weather them is by holding fast to those we love; by pushing through until we see blue sky again. If we push away those that care for us at the first sign of rough sea, we are quickly going to find that we have no one left to hold our head above water until we find our feet again.

Restless rest

Fri, 17 May 2013 20:24:42 +0100

I’ve been having seriously weird dreams.

Now, my mind is normally fairly strange and the things that go through my head are pretty….colourful, but they usually make sense.

These though, they don’t make the slightest shred of sense. Random, confusing, and some are just plain fucked up.

The worst part is most of the details fade soon after I wake, leaving just a vague disquiet.

I wish I knew why I was suddenly having them, because I’m not really feeling that rested

dearscarlet: Dear Scarlet, About a month ago you asked if you...

Fri, 17 May 2013 08:35:57 +0100

dearscarlet:

Dear Scarlet,
About a month ago you asked if you could have a “circle mohawk” again. I told you to think about it because you’ve been growing your hair out for so long and I didn’t want you to regret it. On Sunday night I told you I had a hair appointment with Allison the next day. You asked if you could get your hair cut like that again, but you were laying down for bed and not supposed to be talking so I ignored you. The next day you asked twice, so I finally said I didn’t care and that you look beautiful whatever you decide. The last time your hair was like this you weren’t in school yet, I was so nervous about kids being cruel. I walked you to school on Tuesday morning and stayed awhile to make sure everything was going to go smoothly, which it did. When I picked you up you said, “Olivia liked my hair. She said she didn’t want her hair like this, but she liked mine like this. And we’re still friends. That’ just like how I don’t want to have purple hair like Allison, but I love Allison’s purple hair. You don’t have to have all the same stuff as your friends.” Wise beyond your years, baby child. I’m so proud of you and how you have the courage to be exactly who you want to be, despite any other outside influences. While we’re on the topic of gender, when I was at parent teacher conferences a few months ago a mom of this little boy approached me. She told me how he wanted to paint his nails and go to school. She let him. When he came home he said, “Scarlet loved my nails, Mom!” I’ve never been so proud.

These are the kind of people that should be winning parent of the year!

Mini Marathon

Thu, 16 May 2013 23:52:53 +0100

Ah, Glee. Two episodes back to back!

First, I’d like to say a little thank you to whatever writer put in the line explaining where Brittany was during wonder-ful. Now if you could just explain where Finn has disappeared to and why he wasn’t with the rest of his family waiting for Burt’s news(!)

This is going to be a long post - Sorry/not sorry.

So, lets start with the most important point:

- Burt is ok!! God help me if they’d given him weeks to live my heart would’ve broken there on the spot. Though I think my eyes are broken; every scene, EVERY scene, with Kurt & his dad makes me cry. I love how you can just feel the love that he has for Kurt and the way he handled Blaine was awesome. Is it possible to be adopted by a fictional character??

- I think I may have to start reading Rachel/Cassandra fics, they had some pretty subtexty scenes going on. Firstly, that song Cass sang - Gay. Dancing together and looking longingly into each others eyes - Gay. Then Rachel’s comment about Miss. July’s abs being better than Brody’s - Gay, Gay, Giddiy Gay Gay!!

- Sorry/not sorry! Oh Brittany, we miss your sweet lady kisses too. I love a good Brittany rant; they’re so random yet so right, how can you not be amused? 95 reasons to quit the cheerios? Hell the only one you need is the fact that Quinn & Santana are no longer there!

- Schue, I’m pretty sure when a kid is kicking stuff and generally having a meltdown right in front of you the appropriate response is NOT to sit there and do nothing. Dick.

- Old lady lesbians! Old lady lesbians getting engaged and the whole restaurant cheering!

- Of course Santana was the only one able to get through to Brittany. Before, after, over & above everything else, they are best friends. Only your best friend, the one person that knows you better than anyone else in the world can cut through everything and find you when you are lost. Santana is Brittany’s safe place.

- Oh Brittany, you broke me. I just wanted to bundle you up and cuddle you til you stopped crying during your speech. This girl has gone from being the comic relief that only says stupid stuff to the heart of the show; she makes me laugh out loud with her witty comments (gay sharks anyone?) and she makes me cry my eyes out (never put her in danger, faux or real, ever again!). Heather Morris is going to be so so missed if she isn’t back next season.

- Can someone please make Sugar a regular. She doesn’t even need to speak, her facial expressions are enough!

- I liked Marley’s song but it would of been more emotional if Brittany was singing it. This is kinda perfect for her, I know Marley is meant to have written it and all, but still.

- Brittana hearts were just dying everywhere at that last bit huh. Santana offering her hand and Brittany just curling into her side with those cute little noises *melts*.

- Emma looked super adorable; didn’t like the fact she’s marrying dickwad Schue but maybe we’ll get to see a bit more of her.

P.S. Emma sharing food! Did you see, she offered Santana food!

Facination with film

Thu, 16 May 2013 16:18:28 +0100

So, no Glee catch up yet.

Instead, I introduced the missus to The Prestige.

Now, my missus can be rather tricky with films. Her family didn’t own a TV until she was ten *insert shocked face*, and has never really been into films whereas I’m a HUGE film fan. Some I show her she loves, others she hates and some she gets very, very confused by. She has trouble sitting through an entire film (we are SO chalk and cheese in this department) so anything with complex plots she tends to have trouble following and gets frustrated. For instance, we went to see Inception at the cinema and after 5 minutes she leaned into me and whispered ‘I don’t get it’. I told her to just go with the flow until the end. At the end she leaned over and whispered ‘I still don’t get it’. To be fair, you kinda needed a base level education in sci fi/alternative worlds to really understand the dream within a dream within a dream finer workings of that one which R REALLY doesn’t have (or want).

For those that have not seen the prestige, throughout the movie it flits back and forth in the timeline and has a simple, yet complex plot that doesn’t make sense until the secret is revealed right at the end. I must be doing something right though. Not only did she enjoy the film (though still very confused by it) but she has adopted my habit of guessing every single possible outcome throughout the film so that at the end you can go ‘see, I was right!’. I loved watching her do this, especially as I already knew the ending.

This is my downfall in cinemas, I want to talk all the way through the film with the person/people I’m with. I love discussing it, making guesses, speculating about why characters are doing things, and of course spotting subtext where there isn’t any. I used to love having DVD nights, being able to discuss a film with someone as much as I wanted without being hushed, and laughing my head off at scary/gory scenes without being looked at like a weirdo.

Be still my geeky little heart! Charles Gunn, is that you I...

Wed, 15 May 2013 13:58:26 +0100

Be still my geeky little heart!

Charles Gunn, is that you I see?

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Official Trailer (by Marvel AgentsofShield)

Finally! Welcome back dear internet, I’ve missed you.

Wed, 15 May 2013 13:27:31 +0100

Finally!

Welcome back dear internet, I’ve missed you.

A brave woman

Wed, 15 May 2013 08:28:36 +0100

I just found out about Angelina Jolie.

It’s tragic, of course it is, but it’s also courageous. Angelina changed her future. She was looking at a virtual death sentence, 86% chance of breast cancer and 50% chance of ovarian cancer. If someone said you had those odds of getting eaten by a shark if you go swimming I’m pretty sure you’d never go near the ocean again.

Something I do find tragic is the fact that some people will judge her as ‘less of a woman’ because she has had a double mastectomy. This infuriates me; a woman is not a woman simply because she has breasts, a woman is far too complex a creation to be explained by the mere presence of boobs.

Breasts exist to feed offspring, that is their design, their function. They were not created to define a woman as a sexual object, or to define a woman’s sense of worth. Don’t get me wrong; breasts are lovely and I do enjoy them, and my own, but I don’t look at a woman (or myself) and think ‘wow, she has almost no boobs so I’m not going to give her my time of day’. That’s just fucked up, and a horrible message to teach kids.

If men got penile cancer instead of testicular cancer, how many more cases would go unreported simply because of pride? If men had to have their penis removed and reconstructed, how would they feel about being deemed ‘less of a man’.

Angelina Jolie, Michelle Heaton, and the thousands of other women that choose life over lumps of flesh should be applauded and supported. They certainly have my support.